Britbox’s latest serial procedural Mountcastle stars David Tennant as Ryan Mountcastle (2-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 9th and 10th homer). A guy who returned from war and talks about being in a platoon with Ryan O’Hearn, and people keep calling him a Bird, even though that’s British slang for a lady. The Brits are saying he’s under-appreciated, somewhere between bangers, good dental work and mash. “It’s a gritty whirlywoo that’ll get ya by your knickers and stuff ya up like a balaclava filled with pollen during high allergy season,” said Muriel Wethery of the BBC, adding, “This is prime Mountcastle, but not available on Prime in the U.S. even though you’re paying extra,” and he’s in the top 10 for 1st basemen on the Player Rater, even though his supporting cast gets so much more attention. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Connor Norby – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Break up the Orioles!
Corbin Burnes – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.26. Burnes was egggggggggscellent.
George Springer – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer, hitting .213. If there was any justice (as doled out without discretion by Mountcastle), Springer would be on the bench fo’ever mo’. Maybe he’ll be traded and become a bench player.
Hunter Renfroe – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer. Or as Scooby Doo would say, “Renfroe!”
Bobby Witt Jr. – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homer, hitting .319. With Acuña out, there will be a new number one this year, and BWJ has a legit chance at it.
Seth Lugo – 6 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 2.13. You say he shouldn’t have went out there for the final inning when he gave up two more runs. I say, he still has a 2.13 ERA, you so greedy!
Triston McKenzie – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.16. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Slenderman McKenzie will only hurt my ratios.
Josh Naylor – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .229. Okay, but that’s why you have Steven Kwan and his .360 average. If you have Steven Kwan.
Tyler Freeman – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. Could Tyler beat Freddie for most power in The Power of the Freemen?
Ranger Suarez – Felt no issues when throwing. Can we get a loud and mighty amen?!
Cristopher Sanchez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.71. Streamonator hates his next start, and I don’t trust him there even if he’s in that not very elite group of Pitchers With A Sub-3 ERA In June.
Alec Bohm – 1-for-5 and his 6th homer, hitting .296. Bohm’s had a pretty severe come-down in the last month — 1 HR in May, .243 average. Still like him a lot, and wouldn’t be surprised if June is more like April.
Tyler Glasnow – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.93 vs. Jared Jones – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.25. Not to sound like I’m 80 and eat creamed corn, but both of these pitchers are joys to watch. It’s funny because Cristopher Sanchez has a better ERA than both, but both of these guys are the bees’s knees, hips and toes.
Henry Davis – 1-for-3 as he was recalled from the minors. BDon and I just gave you a full Henry Davis rundown on the last podcast.
Jack Suwinski – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer. I saw the Pirates tweet out something like, “Jack’s back,” and all I could think, he wasn’t there previously because you sent him down. I know the social media manager doesn’t demote players (though, they might let them for the Angels), but it just struck me as weird.
Edwin Diaz – Will begin a minor league assignment on Thursday. Oh, so they’re really going through with the whole charade.
David Peterson – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.09. I love A Man Da. Peterson, and you can’t buy me love, so you know this is real. Might be a little fickle for shallowest of leagues, but Peterson has great stuff, and doesn’t seem like he needs off the Mets before being good.
Pete Alonso – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 14th homer. Albombso!
Trevor Williams – Hit the IL with a flexor strain. After months of Williams exceeding expectations, I finally picked him up off waivers this past weekend. And that’s what happened. I’m sorry, Trevor.
Tommy Pham – Hit the IL with an ankle sprain. The injury happened while he was shadow boxing demons.
Luis Robert Jr. – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 3rd homer, as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s Get Him In Your Lineup Department said, “I don’t understand how John Fetterman ended up in Senate and not, like, as a zookeeper in Florida.”
Shota Imanaga – 4 1/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 1.88, but 4 unearned runs for the massive Ticker Shock! This might be a coincidence, but it seems as soon as the national media caught on to Shota, he began to fall to earth. It’s The Curse of The Athletic.
Christopher Morel – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, hitting .201. Please let this be the start of one of his ridiculous 12-homer-in-15-day stretches.
Blake Dunn – 0-for-2, 1 run as he was promoted. In Triple-A, he went 4/9/.223, and he might only face lefties, as he platoons with Benson, i.e., nothing’s new, Ben/Dunn.
Elly De La Cruz – 1-for-4 and his 10th homer, hitting .233. Maybe that long national nightmare May is finally in his rearview.
Frankie Montas – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.00. He was throwing a no-hitter in Coors, but I was like, nah, no way that happens, it’s Coors and the Rockies have…uh…nine sorta major leaguers. Looking at Montas’s peripherals (7 K/9, 3.3 BB/9), and you wouldn’t have been wrong if you got sonavabenched yesterday. Why do you even have him might be a better question.
Riley Greene – 1-for-4 and his 11th homer. See people complaining about Riley Greene. Hey, he’s near a top-15 outfielder on the Player Rater. What else do you want?
Jack Flaherty – 5 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.22, but left with a sore back. His K/9 and BB/9 are 11.6 and 1.2. Um, is he the best pitcher in baseball?
Evan Carter – Will miss at least a month with a stress reaction in his back. Evan Carter handshake emoji with Wyatt Langford as they both stand in a dumpster.
Alec Burleson – 2-for-4 and his 8th homer, and 2nd homer in two games, third homer in three games, and 3rd straight rundown with me saying grab him.
Nolan Gorman – 2-for-5 and his 14th homer, 3rd homer in two games, and 29th homer this week. Gorman is a wallbanger.
Masyn Winn – 3-for-3, 2 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (8), hitting .309. Not an exaggeration to say Winn is their best pure hitter, which is why I am writing into The Hague with the email subject line “re: Oli Marmol batting Winn 8th.”
Yainer Diaz – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, 2nd homer in two games. It’s Yain’ing homers! Halle Berry lujah! It’s Yain’ing homers! Please, prepare yourself, he’s about to go on an epic run.
Cristian Javier – Will undergo Tommy John surgery. No word yet on who he’s operating on. Oh! He’s the one getting it! Right. I’ll bet someone five imaginary dollars Javier has needed surgery since last July.
Wilyer Abreu – Hit the IL with an ankle sprain. Tyler O’Neill should be back soon (then injured again in a week).
Ozzie Albies – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .275. If he’s been injured this whole time after coming back way too fast from a fractured toe, hopefully this is a sign he no longer is hurt.
Orlando Arcia – 2-for-4 and his 6th homer, hitting .235. Regarding the Albies blurb: I mean, c’mon, Albies should not have less homers than Arcia. I don’t care if Arcia has 150 more at-bats or the actual 13 more he does have.
Max Fried – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.93. Braves must have a number one ace. I get it now.
Mitch Spence – 6 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.86. A few people have been asking about Spence, and, honestly, I have no idea why. Fine for crazy deep leagues, but everyone is fine in those leagues.
Andres Munoz – 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 1.73, and was lifted from the game with a back issue that he got from a home plate collision. Wait, there’s more bad news, unlike Spencer’s Gifts, there’s no clear handcuff. I suppose Ryne Stanek is the setup man, but it could be Saucedo or anyone in that bullpen.
Avisail Garcia – Designated for assignment. That assignment is to find a new hobby.
Jesus Luzardo – 4 1/3 IP, 9 ER, ERA at 5.30. That is the new blech! Get off my team yesterday! You suck! I hate you! Every pitcher is good and you’re this…this evil monster!
Bryan De La Cruz – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer, hitting .248. It’s super hard to be excited for De La Snooze, especially with the entire Marlins’ womb being polluted, but he does tend to get hot.
Brandon Lowe – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Why do I think his 39-homer year in 2021 might be his career peak? Hmm…
Ryan Pepiot – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.96. Streamonator loves his next one, and I do not have such love but whee, my good man, whee. I let ‘er ride.
Luis Gil – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.82. I’m going to bawl like a little baby when he’s shut down due to innings, because he is saving some of my teams.
Gleyber Torres – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer. Only 20 more barely-372-foot-homers to make your season respectable!
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer, hitting .232. Giancarlo doing well again warms my cockles. A Christmas Story narrator, “Only he didn’t say cockles.”
Bailey Ober – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners (4 BBs), 2 Ks, ERA at 4.94. If you haven’t moved on yet, this was a terrible sign. Sure, he held the Yanks to “only” three runs, but his command is awful, and all he is a command pitcher.
Royce Lewis – 1-for-1 and his 2nd homer as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s Get Him In Your Lineup Department said, “I literally have never seen anyone look more like a Florida zookeeper.”
Adam Mazur – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 2 Ks as he was called up by the Padres as he made both Pa and Ma Mazur proud. He had a 8.5 K/9, 1.9 BB/9 in Triple-A. That is exactly what kind of pitcher he is. I like that kind of pitcher now. The days of Grey losing his marbles over high K-rates are over. The days of Grey talking in the 3rd person live to see another day. He doesn’t do dynamite with his 96 MPH fastball, but the slider is the dirty birdy at 87. His 83 MPH change generated a bunch of whiffs. Is he a Hodgepadre or a grab-in-your-leaguer? Why not go one start at a time and see how he looks next time? For now, 15-team mixed and deeper, but monocle and Streamonator in shallower.
Tucupita Marcano – Padres infielder was suspended for life for betting on his last year’s team, the Pirates. “It’s so disgusting he bet on baseball, he should be suspended for life,” said a player who stuck a needle into his ass filled with steroids as he listened to a group of teammates lay out exactly how the team was going to relay which pitches were being thrown. Get a load of this, Tucupita only won 4.3% of his MLB bets that totaled $87,319! He bets as bad as he hits! [Tucupita Marcano at the roulette wheel, slides a huge stack of chips] “All of it on blue!” “Ah, sir, there is no…” Off Tucupita’s look… “As the gentleman likes.” Tucupita also only bet over/under on the runs on the Pirates. To bet on the over/under on runs and to lose that much on the Pirates can only mean one thing, Tucupita was way too optimistic. If he banged the under every time, he couldn’t have lost anywhere near 96% of the time! A’s pitcher, Michael Kelly, was also suspended for one year. He bet $99.22 and lost a year’s salary of $740,000. Shame he didn’t cheat to win the World Series, he would’ve been rewarded with bonuses and contracts. Anyway, these suspensions were sponsored by DraftKings. Please gamble responsibly.
