Ryan Pepiot (6 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, ERA at 3.64) struck out 12 guys yesterday. That’s the lead. The B story? Guess how many pitches he needed. Hint: I am howling. What’s the most he could’ve possibly thrown? 115? Okay, now what’s the least? 75? Guess how man. Bzzt wrongo, Jack! But close! He threw 76 pitches. What? I’m sorry. How? What’s the other journalist W’s? Where? In Tampa. Why? I don’t know, because MLB pitching is crazy. He threw one immaculate inning that helped. But, kinda, sorta, they were all immaculate. This is the sequel to the Passion of the Christ people are talking about. Pepiot being immaculate. He has one of the best changes in baseball and a 95 MPH heater that is up from last year (climate change?). He looks like an easy top 40 starter for next year, that will be available in all drafts, and I’m going to be nudging you hard — with my elbow! — to draft. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Trevor Story – 2-for-3, 2 runs and a slam (2) and double legs (4, 5). Serious question: Story or Bichette next year? I know you don’t want either, but if you had to.
Josh Naylor – 2-for-4, 3 runs and his 30th and 31st homer, hitting .245. Wasn’t quite the huge slam dunk I expected when I told you he was a sleeper roughly ten months ago. Or was he?! Damn, Mr. Reversal, you’re right. Naylor is on the verge of being the 2nd best 1st baseman on the Player Rater, so that’s a pretty big win.
Bailey Ober – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 hits, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.84. Nearly had the lede today, but Pepiot’s 76 pitches done floored me.
Justin Steele – 2 2/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.03 as he was activated from the IL. Happy to see him return and will try to block out of my mind he had an elbow issue when it’s time to draft him next year.
Tyler Soderstrom – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer. Smart Shopper fact! Soderstrom is a waste of money, just buy La Croix.
Christian Scott – Will have Tommy John surgery and internal brace procedure. That’s the pitchers’ equivalent to a shit and shave.
Luisangel Acuña – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Watched the homer yesterday, and, much like his brother, the ball flies off his bat. Easy 415-foot power.
Jose Quintana – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.74. Broken record time: At no point in your drafts next year will you want to draft Quintana, and he just gave us three and a half months of worthwhile starts.
Corbin Carroll – 2-for-4, 3 runs and his 20th and 21st homer. He had two homers through the first 87 games. I’m going to say that shizz one more time, because I think it might not get through everyone’s giant melons. Through July 6th, three players played every day and had two homers or less: Corbin Carroll, Luis Arraez and Sal Frelick. Bo Bichette had four homers by that point. That is more than halfway through the season. Two homers. Corbin Carroll hit two homers yesterday. He was hitting .210 through 87 games with two homers! That is insane. From July 7th until yesterday, Sal Frelick still has two homers. Luis Arraez now has four homers. Corbin Carroll? He has 19 homers since then. The top home run hitter since then is Eugenio Suarez with only 22. Only two guys have been better for fantasy since July 7th: Shohei Ohtani (20 HRs, 30 SBs) and Judge.
Randal Grichuk – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 11th homer. He has six homers in September. Gets hot; you gets him.
Eduardo Rodriguez – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 5.09. Having your best start of the year in Coors is no longer an anomaly, it’s becoming the norm when the Rockies roll out utter slop.
Andrew Vaughn – 1-for-5 and his 19th homer. So, what you’re saying is, the White Sox would’ve been a winning team if they only faced the Angels?
Jack Kochanowicz – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.56. Yes, this was vs. the Shite Sux, but your Uncle Gotchanosewitz’s six of last seven starts are Quality Starts, and he missed seven of seven by one out and run. Streamonator lines him up for the Shite Sux again, and I don’t see why not.
Will Smith – 2-for-4, 3 runs and his 19th homer. He also won his first Emmy for Slow Horses. One of the only shows Apple TV does that’s good. (Pachinko is the other.)
Tommy Edman – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, and 6th homer since 9/10. “The more seemingly inexplicable you are, the better you will be for the Dodgers.” That’s Enrique Hernandez talking to Tommy Edman.
Enrique Hernandez – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer. “See?”
Landon Knack – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.39. “Welcome back to the NLCS deciding game! All the marbles are on the line as they say in a marble rye bakery, and today the Dodgers are throwing their best pitcher, Landon Knack. Kidding! Not best, but only one who can still lift his arm.”
Nestor Cortes – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.77 vs. Bryce Miller – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 8 Ks, ERA at 3.06. This matchup was billed as, “Since the M’s don’t look like they’re making the playoffs, the Yanks have to beat them now.” Not cool, but accurate.
Lance Lynn – Hit the IL with “he doesn’t feel like pitching anymore this year.”
Sonny Gray – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.84. Why does Gray hate Grey? I don’t know. Why does Grey hate Gray? Oh, that’s easy! It was home vs. the Pirates!
Masyn Winn – 1-for-5 and his 14th homer. Winn’s the only person in the Cards’ lineup I trust to be in there again for their next start. Well, him and their ancient corners. BDon? Their 2nd baseman, not our podcast host. He hit his 13th homer last night, and I have no faith he’ll play in their next start. I hate Marmol.
Bowden Francis – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.47. No 8th inning no hitter? Yikes. Hope he’s not hiding an injury.
Cody Bradford – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.59. Already thinking about how I’m gonna have some janky pitching staffs next year of Bradford, Pepiot, Michael King, Bailey Ober and Wacha and win all my leagues.
Adolis Garcia – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer. He helped the 12th place team make a little dead cat bounce.
Marcell Ozuna – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 38th homer, hitting .306. Finally! By the way, I saw someone list the NL AVG leaders, and Ozuna is in 2nd to Arraez at .320. And that’s it for NL guys over .300. Carl Yastrzemski called, he wants his shtick back.
Michael Harris II – 1-for-5 and his 13th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Or II in II, if he prefers.
Spencer Schwellenbach – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.61. Braves’ bats did them no favors this year, but their arms definitely didn’t let them down.
Brandon Williamson – Diagnosed with a torn UCL. Damn, I’m sorry. I just picked him up for a two-start week. He could’ve just told me not to.
Jakob Junis – 6 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.61, and every start he’s made has been great. Heaven help me but there’s no way I’m not picking him up in every league for his final two starts (if there’s two).
Rhys Hoskins – 2-for-3 and his 25th homer. If he hits 30 more in the final ten days, I might still win my preseason bet for Hoskins to lead the majors in homers. C’mon, baby! Daddy needs new Hokas! Though, I bet the Brewers to win the World Series too with 100 to 1 odds. LFG! Imagine if I win more money than God and then you’re like, “Let’s go to church and pray to Grey.”
Freddy Peralta – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.69 vs. Aaron Nola – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.54. This matchup was billed as, “If you dared watch this game, you held your hands over your eyes and slit your fingers to peek at the results.”
Riley Greene – 1-for-5 and his 24th homer. Only ten more days I can mention my preseason sleeper. Actually, I can mention it once in my position recaps in October. Then that’s it. Whew!
Dylan Cease – 8 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.42. More like dealin’ Cease! Dylan Cease is the most “This start is going to be one of the best of the year” or “This will make me regret trusting him.”
Manny Machado – 2-for-4 and his 28th and 29th homer, 3rd homer in two games. Machado was underrated going into this year, and he will be again next year. To give you one random corner infidel comp who hasn’t been bad, Machado has been better than Bryce Harper.
Fernando Tatis Jr. – 1-for-4 and his 19th homer. FTJ! Fun The Jewels!
Framber Valdez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.85. Sick of always not wanting to draft Framber and him pitching incredibly well, so next year I’m gonna be so in on him and get so burned! I can feel the tingling already of the Framburn.
Matt Chapman – Hit the paternity list. Wonder if he wants a Chapboy.
Mike Yastrzemski – 1-for-5 and his 17th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmotato alert! Michael Conforto (3-for-4, 2 runs) also homered yesterday, his 17th. Guess which two Giants I have on my bench in one league? Yeehaw, sonavabench!
Dean Kremer – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.19. Don’t even care so much for this start, but you know what a lot of Wednesday starters were? Guys who could start twice next week. Giddy. Dramatic pause. Up. So, check the Streamonator and get bingo and/or bango’ing!
Craig Kimbrel – Designated for assignment. Yankees road to the World Series just got that much harder.
