Could Reynaldo Lopez (5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.05) actually be in the NL Cy convo? Comatose Braves Fan, “Reynaldo Lopez is in the running for the NL Cy? Plus Fried?! Right?!” Comatose Braves Fan, hold on– “–No! I won’t hold on! Plus, Acuña for MVP! Or is it Albies? Plus–” Yes, Riley too, now go back to sleep. Wait until he hears Marcell Ozuna (1-for-3) hit his 37th homer yesterday. “And Ozuna’s on pace for 50 homers?! With Olson, I’m assuming! Right? Tell me I’m right!” [rips IV from arm] “Tell me I’m right!” No, not a lot has gone right for the Braves this year, but Reynaldo Lopez went about as right as he could’ve. Do the underlying numbers back this up? No, not at all. Not even a little. I was surprised at how shrug-worthy Reynaldo’s peripherals were — 9.2 K/9, 3.1 BB/9, 38% GB%, goofy low homers allowed. Weak contact has made it all work, but to answer you, the person who is holding him in your keeper, he is not pitching like a barely 2 ERA pitcher. “But Spencer Strider is, right? Tell me I’m right!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Gio Urshela – 0-for-3, 1 RBI as he was signed by the Braves to play 3rd. Thinking back to how much I liked him after his 21-homer 2019 season. [wavy lines]….Ah, it’s March 2020 and–hey, how come I have no memories from now until 2021?…[wavy lines] Hunh, that was weird. Any hoo! Urshela has solid contact and nothing else. An NL-Only play, at best.
Jeimer Candelario – Placed on the IL with a toe fracture. [Jeimer mistakes a medicine ball for a soccer ball] “Hey, look at me, I’m Messi! ….God damn it!” This prolly helps Noelvi continue to get ABs, even with the addition of Amed Rosario, but, as I said the other day, I’d go Amed over Marte if I were them, and send Marte down to get help on his swing.
Carson Spiers – 4 1/3 IP, 9 ER, ERA at 5.43. Hey, you mind if I leave my grape soda here while I go to the bathroom in this al Qaeda-run bar? Cool! [four hours later]…Boy, I must’ve fell asleep. Hey, why is that guy weighing my spleen? AHHHH!!! Roofie!!!
George Springer – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 15th and 16th homer, hitting .222. Also, in this game, Spencer Horwitz (1-for-4) hit his 7th homer; Leo Jimenez (2-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer and Alejandro Kirk (1-for-3) hit his 4th homer. It was a good day for the “Those guys are terrible for fantasy” guys.
Jose Berrios – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.79. Jays jumped out to a huge lead and Berrios coasted out to the Ivictory Coast for a free night at the W.
Eduardo Rodriguez – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.94. He could wake after a 18-month nap Van Winkle-style and pitch 5+ innings.
Corbin Carroll – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 14th homer. The power in the 2nd half is nice. I’d be a lot less concerned if he had a few three-steal games.
Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – 1-for-3 and his 15th homer. Lu-Gu-Ju usually gets scalding hot when he gets a homer, so prepare for a schmotato run.
Edward Cabrera – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 5.65. Watched most of this game (for Ed-Rod, but still), and I don’t know what happened with EdCab, but he looks pretty meh. EdRod looked better than EdCab. Sounds like a proverb. Spare me EdCab for the EdRod.
Frankie Montas – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.57. Everyone talks about how the Rays coach up pitchers, but the Brewers take just as many Just A Guy guys and turn them into wonderful.
Jose Quintana – 5 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.57. Ow, why do I feel so hurt? Five seconds earlier, “Streaming Quintana nonstop for three months can’t hurt me!”
J.D. Martinez – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Just Dong because everything else is Just Don’t.
Zach Eflin – Hit the IL with shoulder inflammation. Wait, an ex-Rays pitcher who they traded is now injured? Hmm, can’t be related. Albert Suarez went from the O’s 6th starter to their number two. Though, taking Eflin’s spot will be Cade Povich. Someone should sit Maury on stage and surprise him with a paternity test for Cade. Never the hoo! I wouldn’t trust Povich.
Anthony Santander – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 37th homer, hitting .239. I don’t know it for a fact but he seems to have more games of an 1-for-4 or 1-for-5 with a homer than anyone else.
Dean Kremer – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.30. Know what’s funny in a non-funny way? When you have as many teams as me, you have one team streaming Quintana and that sucked, but you have another team streaming Kremer. Everywhere I look, I made the right move! (Except the places I made the wrong move.)
Hector Neris – DFA’d by the Cubs. Celine Dion’s fantasy team, “Neris/Faris, Wherever You Areis,” takes another brutal hit. She’s never going to dig herself out of last place in saves. She might be smart to pick up Porter Hodge (1 IP, 0 ER, and his 2nd save yesterday) or hedge Hodge with Jorge Lopez.
Javier Assad – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.11. 2nd game over five innings thrown since June 23rd. If you want Assad to go deep, you end up saying, “I sad.”
Joey Gallo – Activated from the IL. Yepez haz stoppez hitting a bit, but playing Gallo over Yepez is a fireable offense. Though, I’m not sure Davey Martinez will ever be fired. He seems to have carte blanche after the World Series win. Five years ago!
Angel Chivilli – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 4.70, as he got the Rockies save because Victor Vodnik has shoulder soreness. If you have above your fantasy team a sign that says, “God Bless This Mess,” then grab Chivilli. Otherwise, no, are you crazy?
Tyler Mahle – Hit the IL with shoulder soreness. If you get a call from a number that’s not in your contacts, make sure you pick it up, it could be an MLB team looking for you to give them a few innings.
Cody Bradford – 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.56. My sleeper monocle is on my eye and it’s starting to fog.
Mitch Keller – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.76. No one I know goes out there and gives up 15 ER in his previous 9 IP, then looks lights-out quite like Keller.
Edwin Uceta – 1 1/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 0.90. Whoa, impressive. Okay, the Rays’ new closer is Uceta and forgetta.
Shane Baz – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.48. A’ss are far from a pushover in home games. They’re more middle-of-the-pack-ish. But Shane Baz dazzled. He Bazzled. His underlying numbers are pretty meh (4 Ks in almost 8 IP?), but it’s still a small sample.
Joey Estes – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.44. It’s embarrassing how I was bidding on all A’ss starters this past Sunday in FAAB. Streamonator doesn’t love him, but the Rays just don’t scare me.
Patrick Bailey – Hit the IL. Luckily the Giants have Joey Bart–Oh wait.
Robbie Ray – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.88. Such an easy matchup of Shite Sux at home, but hopefully Ray carries this into his next start like he carries his tight-ass pants.
Ryan Jeffers – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer, and third homer in four games. Random prediction alert! He will be basically free in all drafts next year, as if he’s not a no-brainer top 7-ish catcher.
Ha-Seong Kim – Hit the IL with shoulder inflammation. MRI revealed no structural damage. MRI did reveal its crush on the CT scan. Cute stuff.
Jurickson Profar – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 20th homer, hitting .290. Someone should ask him, “Do you know this is your career season even as it’s happening?”
Manny Machado – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer. Elias Sports Bureau heard Profar and Machado both hit their 20th on August 20th and said, “This is the first time that’s happened, we think. Jim spilled a Fanta on our computer.”
Walker Buehler – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 6.09. For his next start, he will be pitching with Dustin May’s elbow tendon.
Max Muncy – 1-for-2, 2 runs and his 11th homer, 2nd homer in two games since his IL return. Max is the Munciest!
Gavin Lux – 1-for-4 and his 10th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Keep telling you he’s hot, going back a month and you keep waiting for something.
Matthew Boyd – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.38. An incredible whatever start. Colin Rea has pitched better for the last four months. No one cares about Rea. Boyd though? People love Boyd with wildly mediocre results.
Brayan Rocchio – 3-for-5 and a slam (6) and legs (9). Most random slam & legs of the week goes to….Still Adrian Del Castillo.
Luis Gil – 3 IP, 3 ER, 3 hits, 6 BBs, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.39, and left with back soreness. Out there pitching like he should’ve been shut down in June. Very nice. I’m sure this won’t have long-term consequences for his arm.
Aaron Judge – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 45th homer. He’s on pace for 58 homers. Is that good?
Juan Soto – 1-for-5 and his 35th homer. He’s on pace for a $500 million dollar contract. Is that good?
Johnny Cueto – Angels brought him back to. Dot dot dot. Pitch? I have no idea. Tend to their horses? True story, I went to look to see what Cueto was doing in the minors, and I found a clip of Urshela homering off him. Welcome back, guys! Glad to see minor league teams are giving their prospects a chance to play.
Tyler Anderson – 6 IP, 5 ER, 14 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.46. You can look at the Streamonator for him, but it’s also nearing the end of August and his ERA is better than your entire fantasy team’s, and I still wouldn’t trust him.
Zach Neto – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 19th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Mentioned yesterday how he’s been roughly as valuable as Corey Seager. Now prolly more valuable. (Player Rater updates after midnight when I’m night-night God bless.)
Yainer Diaz – 2-for-4 and his 15th homer, 2nd homer in two games, third homer in three games, and the top catcher of the last month. Also about to pass Adley Rutschman on the Player Rater for season-long. Oh, and you dropped Yainer in April so ignore this.
Ronel Blanco – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.14 vs. Nick Pivetta – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.70. This matchup was billed as, “Glad it’s Blanco/Pivetta and not Banco de Pivetta because I’d be freakin’ broke right now.”
Jarren Duran – 4-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer, 2nd homer in two games. Can I draft Duran for 2025 already?
Triston Casas – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer. Love Casas. Singing Our House by Madness right now I love him so much. I’m so happy that it looks like whatever was bothering him earlier this year is not bothering him since he returned. It’s a beautiful thing.
Dominic Smith – Released by the Red Sox. Mets should bring him home. Dress him up as Grimace and plant his ass on the bench. Then, “Oh no, looks like Alonso tweaked something. Oh wow, Keith, with the pitch clock, there was no time to change, and here comes Dom Smith up to bat as Grimace. Imagine he’ll be sitting slider.”
