Yesterday, Heston Kjerstad went 2-for-4, as he was re-called up by the O’s to not play. I mean, they didn’t say that, but how does the old saying go: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m still blaming you. Fool me five, six, seven times by calling up rookies and never playing them? I am literally not going to be fooled by you again, unless Kjerstad starts playing regularly and I need him. Okay, I’m still intrigued! He has 35-homer power, but might hit .205. Yesterday, he played instead of Colton Cowser, who I think is cooked. If Kjerstad, the capital of Aruba, continues to play, he could be a huge power hitter, and can be worthwhile in all leagues. (Until the Orioles release their lineup card for Tuesday and Kjerstad isn’t playing.) Fool me sixteen times and I’m asking you kindly, “Please, guys, I’m super naive, can you stop rope-a-dope’ing me?” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Cade Povich – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.15. Ya know when you draft someone who is not in the system so they temporarily give you Placeholder #1? That’s Povich. Until the O’s trade for an arm, they are running out there Placeholder#1. Unfortch, they also have Placeholder #2 and Placeholder #3.
Tanner Bibee – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.50. He’s actually been way better than his ERA. He is a borderline ace. It could still happen this year too. For further information, see Flaherty, Jack.
Jose Ramirez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and a slam (20) and legs (15), hitting .276. JoJoRam has received MVP votes in seven different years, and has zero awards. Get your toast speech ready, because I fear you’re going to be a bridesmaid again this year.
Nelson Velazquez – Optioned to Omaha. Sounds like he could be in the next Alexander Payne movie.
Michael Massey – 1-for-4, 1 run as he was activated from the IL. I just looked at the Royals’ lineup, that is supposedly good, and, ha, what a woof. Man, hitting is a mess this year, if that’s one of the good lineups.
Salvador Perez – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer. That supposedly terrible Royals lineup went ding-dong crazy yesterday, because the Marlins absolutely suck. Also, in this game Vinnie Pasquantino (1-for-4) hit his 8th homer, and Hunter Renfroe (1-for-2) hit his 7th. All three tend to get hot so I wouldn’t stream Bartolo Colon, today’s Marlins starter.
Cole Ragans – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners (3 BBs), 11 Ks, ERA at 3.03. This was vs. the MIA Marlins. I’d start Nancy Reagan vs. them.
Michael Lorenzen – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.04. Was outbid in all my leagues, missing out on Lorenzen this week. After Spencer Turnbull throws, I’ll let you know how my luck is going.
Adolis Garcia – 2-for-4 and his 14th homer. Still on pace for around 30 homers, but hitting .218, and all the problems people had with him the last few years? They finally seem to be rearing their ugly head. Call him Medusa Garcia.
Freddy Peralta – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.03. Hey, FreddyKBB, any time you wanna turn on the Pink Floyd lasers, and rock, I’m ready.
Rhys Hoskins – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 11th homer, a grand slam, hitting .224. I have a feeling I’m not collecting on my preseason bet that Hoskins will lead the majors in homers.
TJ Friedl – Hit the IL with a hamstring strain. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but in retrospect it was a mistake when he audited that “How To Stay Healthy” class that Eloy taught this offseason. For what it’s Cronenworth, Jonathan India (3-for-4, 3 runs, 1 RBI) hit leadoff yesterday.
Elly De La Cruz – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer. Whatever, I don’t sweat you! I got my 11th homer from Oneil Cruz. 11 is better than 14 because it keeps me hungrier!
Carson Spiers – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.45. First, the Reds’ beat writer:
Carson Spiers has consistently kept the Reds in games this year. His strengths are throwing strikes, mixing a lot of different pitches and executing specific game plans for specific hitters.
His development over the last few years has been a win for the Reds.
— Charlie Goldsmith (@CharlieG__) June 25, 2024
He’s started two games this year. This was his 2nd start. He’s been fine. Not F-I-N-E, like in an R&B song. Honestly, I feel like 50% of my job is to dissuade people from nonsense they see or hear from team fans-slash-beat writers. Spiers has been decent, because he’s limited walks (and has no Ks — 7.2 K/9), and I streamed him last night, and tried to grab him in FAAB everywhere, because he gets the Cards next. Streamonator doesn’t love it, because Spiers has no track record, but I’m going for it. Pray for me.
Fernando Tatis Jr. – Hit the IL with a stress reaction of his quad. Hopefully he doesn’t take anything ‘special’ to help with his rehab. Like boner pills. Bryce Johnson was called up to replace him. Just no Nyce Johnson, Tatis! Johnson has speed — a two-minute man! — and might hit .175, and platoon with David Peralta. Yeah, that David Peralta.
Yu Darvish – Dealing with elbow soreness. Padres said it’s minor. Oh, I’m sure. Damn, I’m having soreness from eye rolls.
Casey Mize – 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.54. Mention this on the podcast that’s coming today, but it’s interesting looking at Mize now with Skubal and Flaherty in mind, i.e., it seems like Mize’s the issue more than the Tigers’ coaches. Don’t get me wrong, there seems like there’s something to Mize from what I can, uh, surmise, but he’s clearly struggling still too.
Alec Bohm – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs and a slam (9) and legs (4). Bohm, Bohm, shake shake the rohm!
Bryce Harper – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 19th homer, hitting .303. Do you ever watch Harper and think, “Wow, this is the guy I didn’t want in the 2nd round of 2024 drafts? Was I smoking crack? Was it crack that was in my vape pen? The flavor said Melonball Gonzo, but it must’ve been crack.”
Aaron Nola – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.39. He got himself in trouble in the third, but got out of it quite easily with a triple play. Is it me (it’s not me) or are all triple plays easy? They always seem to have an element of “What is that freakin’ ding-dong doing running on the play? Wait, wait, wait, why is he not retreating to his base?”
Jorge Polanco – 0-for-4 as he was activated from the IL. In a corresponding move, the M’s sent down Tyler Locklear aka T.Y. Hooker.
Bryan Woo – 3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 1.77, and seemed to leave the game early with a leg issue, which had some people wonder, “What if Royce Lewis was a pitcher?”
Mitch Garver – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, hitting .175. It’s a renaissance of Mitches in baseball. I hope Mitch Green finds solace in that.
Cal Raleigh – 1-for-2 and a slam (13) and legs (3), hitting .201, as he hits cleanup (woof). Raleigh stole 2nd base by turning around and plopping down, and because his ass is so big it reached from 1st base all the way to 2nd base.
Taj Bradley – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 8 Ks, ERA at 3.81. He didn’t have his best stuff yesterday. Just a Taj off.
Patrick Sandoval – Will undergo Tommy John surgery. I was at the Dodgers/Angels game when this happened on Friday, and, as soon as he was shaking his arm, I said he needed Tommy John surgery. I should’ve went to med school but stood 200 feet outside the doors. I would’ve made such a good doctor.
Taylor Ward – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer. As I said above about being at the Angels/Dodgers game, my big takeaway was how bad Schanuel looked. Adell was awful too. Just don’t seem like major leaguers.
Griffin Canning – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.72. Now put your grimy little hands together and pray for his next start this week.
Matt Chapman – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 9th homer. Last time he homered (more than a month ago), he had three homers in three games, i.e., he could become a schmotato overnight.
Nick Ahmed – 1-for-2 and his 1st homer. Only three behind Acuña. What? Don’t boo me! It’s true!
Justin Steele – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.08. This month his ERA is 1.69 in 32 IP. Too bad his bullpen’s ERA is slightly worse. Yesterday, Colten Brewer (1/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.50) and Drew Smyly (1/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 3.65) blew up. Maybe today it’ll be Keegan and Hell if I know.
Matt Waldron – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.43. Marmos Dad just gave you a Waldron fantasy along with his top 100 starters. Go there, read that!
Nick Senzel – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, hitting .218. Member when he was either injured or good? Yo, has Senzel been hanging out with Buxton?
James Paxton – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.39 vs. Garrett Crochet – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.05. This matchup was billed as, “Crochet vs. Paxton, or the whole yarn ball of Pax.”
Austin Riley – 2-for-4 and his 8th homer. Not to be greedy, but can I have another one of those five games in a row with a home run, uh, runs?
Spencer Schwellenbach – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 5.40. See what I said above for Povich, but he’s Placeholder #4. Streamonator wants no part of him, but is a little more kind about his next.
Willson Contreras – 1-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s Get Him In Your Lineup Department said, “I brought the kiddie pool into the office because of the heat outside. I didn’t intend for it to get stuck in the elevator, but I figured may as well fill it with water.”
Lance Lynn – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.86. Streamonator liked this one, and loves his next as much as Lynn likes to grab his crotch and spit.
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer, 2nd homer in the last two games. Glory be, thy Cake Batter is not cooked.
Chris Bassitt – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.45. Bassitt’s been better for walks lately. I sound like a pet sitter leaving a note.
David Hamilton – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .282. I’m haunted by my wasting of my shot on Hamilton. I’m cold, mumbling Burr.
Rafael Devers – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer. Rafael delivers!
Tanner Houck – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.18. Houck tuah showing great polish! There’s no rub, his numbers back up his breakout.
Connor Wong – Out on paternity leave. That’s like Rod Carew gone fishing. You give the guy a tool, he’s gonna use it.
