We need to appreciate the greatness that we are witnessing. We cannot let the extraordinary become ordinary. Last night, Juan Soto went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 5 RBIs with his 36th homer. When he hit his homer in the first at-bat, his last eight hits at that point were all homers. If Babe Ruth did that in the 30’s, they’d still be talking about it. And Dr. Sexy Pepper is not even the biggest power threat in the Yanks’ lineup. Aaron Judge (2-for-3, 3 RBIs) hit his 46th and 47th homer. Does he get 60 homers again this year? He’s become a lock for the Hall of Fame this year, hasn’t he? We don’t spend nearly enough time marveling at how good he is. I posed a question the other day about the top three for next year, and Judge was the first guy people were ready to dump for Elly. Also, in this game, likely most important for fantasy was Nestor Cortes (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.00). Getting seven quick runs helps ease the nerves but I don’t think it’s fully that. If Nestor Cortes has fixed his command, then he could be a solid pitcher again. It could’ve happened, it seems that way from his last two starts, but need more than two back-to-back starts to declare him FIXED. He might be lowercase fixed as of now. Last two starts are a huge step in the right direction, even if that step is a stutter-step towards first, then home, then back to first. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Luis Gil – Hit the IL with “I haven’t been able to lift my arm for six weeks.”
Anthony Gose – Designated for assignment. Maybe in two years he can return as an umpire.
Jhonkensy Noel – 2-for-3 and his 10th homer. Hanging balls to Big Christmas and they better be covered in glitter!
Johnny Cueto – 6 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K as he was called up. Let’s check out what the scouting reports say about this guy. Okay, he takes photos with dead horses, and he karate kicked Jason Larue in the head. Uhh…he’s 38. What kind of prospect is this?
Michael Lorenzen – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.47. A home start vs. the Angels? Yeah, Streamonator liked that.
Justin Verlander – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.92 as he was activated. I see non-fantasy people get excited about Verlander. That’s cool. You should be able to tell the difference though between real baseball excitement and fantasy. Verlander could be fine as a streamer, and maybe worthwhile, but his name and fame (am I a poet?) doesn’t make him automatically worthwhile. Better or worse than, say, Colin Rea? Prolly worse.
Alex Bregman – 1-for-4 and his 20th homer, as he returns after five days off for “sleeping on his arm wrong.” I feel ya, man, one time I was watching Dateline and Keith Morrison may as well have been describing my arm being lost at sea. Kinda funny how in football a guy breaks his arm and they’re like “Probable for Sunday,” and baseball it’s like, “He took a nap on his arm, so he’s out for a week.”
David Hamilton – 1-for-4 and his 8th homer. Hey, it’s Mr. Guy Who Was Hot In May. What’s up, Mr. Guy Who Was Hot In May, say hello to your mother for me! By the by, I noticed yesterday the Sawx’s entire lineup is hitting well for average. I believe it’s the only lineup like it of its kind in today’s game.
Matt Waldron – 4 1/3 IP, 10 ER, ERA at 4.79. [puts on James Ingram, sobs uncontrollably] No, I’m good. Things are good. I have my health, right?
Jackson Merrill – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting–Guess. Guess what he is hitting. Go ahead! Get it within fifteen points. Bzzt! Wrongo! .291.
Matt Wallner – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer. It’s not true, but it feels like only the Twins could score 10 runs off a starter in under five innings and have no one who really lit it up on the scoreboard. Though, I guess Trevor Larnach (4-for-6, 1 run, 1 RBI) would argue he had a nice night.
Simeon Woods Richardson – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.69. Twins jumped out to a huge lead and SWR cruised out to the W on the Ivictory Coast.
Jake McCarthy – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, 2nd homer in three games. You listen when I tell you to Buy last week? This week’s Buy is already on the Patreon too.
Jordan Montgomery – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 6.44. Guy’s gonna be one of the best pitchers of all-time next season when no one in their right mind is drafting him.
Jake Burger – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and a slam (25) and legs (1). Burger with a slam and legs? What is this, the Rio buffet? I’m loving when Burger gets into a meatball like The Leftovers, best show of the last decade? Maybe!
Mitchell Parker – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.26. One of the worst road teams that have ever existed vs. a mediocre starter at home? This one goes to the home Parker.
Luis Garcia Jr. – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 15th homer. He has four more homers than Jrod. Cust kayin’.
George Springer – 1-for-3 and his 17th homer, and 3rd homer in three games. Clearly, Springer has sprung a hot streak. Facing garbagey pitching might not hurt.
Ernie Clement – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer, 2nd homer in his last two games, but not the Jays last two games, because Schneider, with a pack of smokes rolled in his white undershirt, is managing the Jays like they’re in the race. Clement is one of their hottest bats, and a guy they should be getting everyday looks to see what they have from him for the future.
Spencer Horwitz – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmotato alert!
Yariel Rodriguez – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.40. The Little Mermaid got got.
Joey Votto – Retired from baseball. It’s time for his next chapter: MLB Commissioner. This would not only heal baseball, but the world.
Elly De La Cruz – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (22) and legs (60), hitting .262. He’s really stolen a lot less in the 2nd half–[dodges tomato thrown] What? [bombarded by tomatoes, it’s too much for even me, a professional tomato dodger]
Jonathan India – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (12) and legs (11). Also, in this game, Noelvi Marte (2-for-4, 2 runs) had a slam (4) and legs (5) and Spencer Steer (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) had a slam (19) and legs (21). When Elias Sports Bureau was asked if this was the most slams and legses in one game they said, “New phone, who dis?”
Nolan Gorman – Optioned to the minors. Cards said you don’t have to NoGo home, but you NoGo here. BDon will be the Cards’ regular 2B now. Yes, my podcast co-host.
Nolan Arenado – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 14th homer. I have a tumbleweed they used in the movie Twisters. C’mon, I’ll show you! It’s over by this open window–NOOOO!!! Torenado!
Jose Siri – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmotato alert!
Manuel Rodriguez – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.82, as he got the Rays’ save on Wednesday. How about Cleavinger for the next one?
Ryan Pepiot – 6 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.65. I get the sense some of you want Pepiot to do poorly so you can drop him.
JJ Bleday – 1-for-3 and his 17th homer, and, like, 28th homer in two weeks. If you like guys on a heater, please indulge yourself in Jimmy John’s Bleday.
Logan Gilbert – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.21. [filing this start away with his 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER start from earlier this year so I can point out in the offseason how his ERA was under-3 if you throw out two starts]
Riley Greene – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer. Is it too late to point out he was a preseason sleeper? What if alluded to?
Kerry Carpenter – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer. Oh, I get what he’s doing. If he plays in 60 games, 100 games or 120 games, he’s always a 20-homer hitter.
Trey Sweeney – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. When him and Jace Jung were called up, I did like Sweeney a bit more (for this year).
Andrew Heaney – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.04 vs. Domingo German – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.50 (in 18 total IP). This matchup was billed as, “So the Streamonator goes, so goes the nation of streamers.”
Camilo Doval – Will rejoin the Giants on Friday. Bob Melvin wouldn’t commit to putting him back in as the closer. Right, because then he should be committed.
Logan Webb – 8 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.13. Webb gem! On a related aside, the White Sox won yesterday, but I am rooting for them to lose more games than any team in history, because I am a history buff. It’s gonna be tight. They have 34 games left to lose 24.
Max Fried – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.57. You count Fried out, and Fried counts himself back in. Then out, then in, basically for two years straight now.
Emmanuel Rivera – Claimed by the O’s. This is different than Emmanuel on the Riviera. That was on Cinemax at 2 AM last night.
Seranthony Dominguez – 1/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.40, 3rd straight game giving up a run. Weird, he’s usually so good. Very surprising. Shocking even. Wow. Who could’ve seen this coming? No one, I tell you. I’d try Yennier Cano, as I’ve been saying for the last three months, but what do I know? I am merely a blogger. Handsome, but they don’t care.
Mark Vientos – 2-for-4 and his 20th homer, and finally moved up the two-hole. I’m gonna make massive mistakes with how early I draft him. Markstakes? Yes, massive Markstakes!
Sean Manaea – 7 IP, 3 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.48. Had a perfect game going in the 6th inning and I didn’t want to even think about it because my brain does jinxes, but he hit Holliday with a pitch, was rattled and gave up a Dong Cheezo to Austin Slater.
Francisco Lindor – 2-for-4 and his 25th homer, becoming the first shortstop in MLB history with three seasons with 25+ homers and 25+ steals. He leads the NL WAR, according to FanGraphs, which is a great opportunity to say Lindor is the most underrated player in MLB — hasn’t even made the All-Star team since 2019, and he received MVP votes the last two years — and also how WAR is overused. Not sure when we collectively decided ‘how great a player is’ became a WAR contest, but I think it says a lot about a stat that isn’t even the same across different sites. You’re telling me I should look at WAR to tell me how great a player is, but if I look at Baseball Reference, I see Ohtani is the NL WAR leader but at FanGraphs it’s Lindor? This is so baseball; it’s actually kinda funny. Only baseball would have a stat that meant everything that no one even agreed on how to measure it. Brilliant.
