Royce Lewis hit the IL with a strained abductor saying, “Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-but! I want to play! My abductor is fine! I’m not a mollusk! I don’t have an abductor! Do I look like a mollusk?” Then Rocco Baldelli squeezed lemon on his head, sprinkled some Maldon salt and slurped him down. Bye, Royce Lewis, he returned to his home Planet IL. In his place, the Twins called up top prospect, Brooks Lee. A new adverb! So, you’ve like-Lee heard a lot about Brooks, but aren’t sure why. Here’s the quick, raw dog facts: He slammed 7 HRs in 20 games in Triple-A while hitting .329 with a 13.8% strikeout rate. That’s goofy good. He’s a pickup in all leagues. He reminds me of another Twin — Carlos Correa. I said the other day James Wood is the last big call-up, and I was wrong. I failed to account for Royce Lewis’s weak mollusking. Itch’s last prospect stash article had James Wood, Shane Baz (who is coming up and I will get to below) and Brooks Lee. Might think about getting in on number four before it’s too late. Unless you’re more of a mustard man. Haha, because it’s Mayo. Was that obvious? Hmm… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
David Festa – 5 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 10.80. Karamu Festa For-NEVER!
Keider Montero – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.60. Pitching is so funny because there will be someone like Festa, who is well-known prospect, and he sucks, then Keider Montero pitches well and I’m like, “Who da fudge?” Only I didn’t say fudge.
Riley Greene – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer. Many people are saying my Josh Naylor sleeper was the best sleeper ever, but they’re forgetting about my Riley Greene sleeper.
Matt Vierling – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, hitting .249. Meh, you know. What I did want to mention, I just watched Clipped, the show about the Clippers, and it’s a train wreck by the end, but what’s incredibly puzzling and/or interesting depending on your outlook: They seem to strongly imply LeVar Burton and Doc Rivers met in a sauna and then become incredibly close, like, ya know, guys do. It’s not true at all, they said it’s not, at least, but it’s so bizarre I had to mention it, let’s continue.
Christian Scott – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.32, as he was recalled. Watched this start, and he was kept in for one too many hitters. Any consolation at all? No? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Tyrone Taylor – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer, and 3rd homer in the last week. He’ll be in this week’s Buy column that will be out on Friday for youse, but is already on Patreon.
Francisco Lindor – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer, and 2nd homer in two games, and 2nd day in a row I’m praying JRod gets this hot.
Mark Vientos – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer. I know this means almost nothing, but he looks so solid. Ball flies off his bat. These aren’t fluky homers.
Mitchell Parker – 6 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.61. Streamonator hates his next one, and I don’t really trust him, but I’d try him in that next start home vs. the Cards.
Luis Garcia Jr. – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer. Glad I started him this week for no reason other than lack of options, even though I was cursing myself for doing it the 1st two games of the week where he didn’t start. Rocky 3 (old heads know) is a straight platoon player.
James Wood – 2-for-3, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 1st steal. And already batting 3rd!
Shota Imanaga – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.16. Not as tough without Bryce, but still a tough lineup, and he was good until he got jammed up in the 6th with a homer after an infield single. Shoulda woulda Shota!
Alec Bohm – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. [to the tune of The Thong Song] Bohm-bah-dah-bomb-Bohm.
Jose Alvarado – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.09, and his 13th save. Oh, we cookin’ with jerk seasoning now because we got a spicy committee.
Manny Machado – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer. Don’t think he also stole a base, but everyone else on the Padres did, so does Heim suck or what?
Michael Wacha – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.74. I keep saying Wacha can be Seth Lugo for two months and picked up waivers and I feel like I’m being ignored.
Isaac Paredes – 1-for-3 and his 14th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. No one is saying my Paredes sleeper was the best ever, but it’s been “not bad.”
Ryan Pepiot – 4 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.40. After this start, he spun a bottle to see which team he’d be playing on next week. It was between the Padres and Phils.
Joey Estes – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.39. Estes has pinpoint command, and incredibly weaksauce stuff. Might be worth a monocle at home in great matchups, like last night, but not much else here.
Brent Rooker – 3-for-4 and his 17th homer, and 2nd homer in two games, and third homer in five games. That’s how B. Rent measures a year.
Davis Daniel – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 2.70. Damn Daniel, he’s not actually good. Surprise.
Dean Kremer – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.93, as he was activated from the IL. He got rocked in his rehab start in Triple-A, had a 11.42 ERA during his rehab assignment, but this start was vs. the Mariners, who are much worse than a Triple-A offense.
Ryan O’Hearn – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer, hitting .294. They’re going to study O’Hearn and his draft price in the Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston for years to come. So affordable, and everyone knew what he was going to do, because he just did it.
Cal Raleigh – 1-for-4 and his 15th home. A .201 hitter is batting third for the M’s. He has a .288 OBP. It’s July 3rd.
Gavin Stone – 3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.03. Like a thud that Stone.
Freddie Freeman – 2-for-2, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer. Also, in this game, Teoscar Hernandez hit his 19th homer. Dodgers clearly have a stacked lineup. They’re missing Betts and it’s stacked. But it’s no exaggeration to say their bottom of the order sucks. Like sucks sucks. Big time sucks.
Christian Walker – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 19th and 20th homer, and 2nd and 3rd homer in two games. Live with me for a second. My LABR team that’s in first has the offense of Aaron Judge, Walker, Ozuna, and Naylor. Oh, and JRod, if he ever hits. For what it’s Wuertz, on pitching I have Ranger Suarez, Sonny Gray and Yamamoto, if he ever returns.
Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer, 2nd homer in a week. He hit five homers and .337 in June. Lou-Gu-Ju my guy!
Gabriel Moreno – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. You heard of Arte Moreno? Well this is Tardy Moreno, but better late than never.
Rowdy Tellez – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 5th homer. You’d think he would’ve eaten that hot schmotato by now and it would be no more, but you’re wrong.
Jared Jones – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.56. This is how you do regression, Luis Gil! Give a little bit back, not everything.
Miles Mikolas – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 5.19. Pretty sure whenever I started Mikolas he’s done bupkis on my team and whenever I don’t start him, he’s respectable. Might be confirmation bias, but I’m here confirming it! Streamonator hates his next one, and I don’t trust him, as literally just mentioned.
Brayan Bello – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.19. [whispering into a dreamcatcher] Please let all my starters face the Marlins. [seeing you looking] Get your own dreamcatcher!
Stuart Fairchild – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer. Has done more than Friedl for about .00000000001 of the price. Insert emoji with a calculator and a noose.
Noelvi Marte – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Noelvi’s left the building! (Clunky but it’s a holiday, cut yo’ man some slack.)
Andrew Abbott – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners (4 BBs), 2 Ks, ERA at 3.28. Reds starters went into Yankee Stadium, pitchers were atrocious peripherals-wise, and dominated. Looking at Abbott’s stats, and Abbott is so not good, but I’d happily take “not good” with a good ERA.
Carlos Rodon – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.45. I’m too lazy to dig up old takes of ‘perts, but there were some people yelling about Rodon being the best value late in drafts.
Yordan Alvarez – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 19th homer, 3rd game in a row, hitting .303. 21 more to go! Oh man, you know what he’s doing? That thing where a guy is so scorching hot I don’t want the All-Star Break so he stays hot.
Jordan Romano – Had elbow surgery and he’s shut down for six weeks. Likely down for the year. If you want Romano, please use the shaker.
Yusei Kikuchi – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.12 vs. Ronel Blanco – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.53. This matchup was billed as, “Grey is screaming why can’t Yusei be the one with the 2.53 ERA? Why? Why? Why? U, sei…”
Jordan Hicks – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at3.47. If I started Hicks, I’d be so happy with that start. Is it great that a mediocre start is the Hicks Bar? Not a great bar, but it’s my bar for him. Hicks Bar doesn’t satisfy.
Martin Maldonado – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Hopefully he makes the All-Star Game after being overlooked by fans. An egregious oversight!
Erick Fedde – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.13. He played in a jersey where White Sox was crossed out and scribbled on it was (Insert Team Name Here).
Gavin Williams – 4 IP, 5 ER, as he was activated from the IL. Oh, yeah, he’s totally fine. No concerns here at all! Good as new! Elbow healed ship-shape!
Joey Ortiz – Hit the IL with neck inflammation. As Wu-Tang said, you best protect your neck.
Aaron Civale – Traded to the Brewers. I’ll get to that in a moment. First off, Shane Baz come on down! Rays traded Civale to the Land of The Fonz to make room for The Baz! These are not old references. They are rather fresh and new. Can I interest you in a reference to Laverne & Shirley? Shirley Feeney and Laverne DeFazio were childhood crushes of mine, and now they’re both dead. Anyway, Happy 4th of July! With the opening at the top of the competitive eating pyramid at Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest, I hope you take the initiative today and stuff your mouth with frankfurters. Remember it’s not the fight in the dog, it’s the dog in the fight. So, I already gave you my Shane Baz fantasy. I grabbed him immediately when I saw this news. He’s coming up to start Friday, and he could be a two-month ace. As for Civale, well, here’s the thing, the Rays and Brewers are both excellent at extracting value from pitchers. Just because the Rays couldn’t, doesn’t mean the Brewers can’t. He was a popular sleeper in drafts because there is something there — 8.7 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, basically same peripherals as when he had a 3.46 ERA last year, even though he has a 5.07 ERA this year. The Brewers could unlock him, and I’d buy into a turnaround. By the way, speaking of Laverne & Shirley and both being dead, you ever think about the person who goes into Wikipedia and changes present verbs to past? No? Hmm…Well, Happy 4th of July!
