Yesterday, the Rockies called up their top prospect, Adael Amador (1-for-3, 1st steal). Listen, I’m not Mr. Prospect. This is well known around these parts. There’s enough players to worry about on MLB rosters, so I go to Itch with my prospect questions. I have a general sense of who is a top prospect. I know the names, but I’m not actively watching minor leaguers to see what they’re up to on a daily or even weekly basis. With that said, I went to check out Adael Amador’s Double-A stats and my mouth legitimately fell on the floor. Due to me typing this up in the garbage compactor from Star Wars (long story), I lost my mouth. It’s okay, I think I can feel it with my foot so I will pick it up with my finger-toes. Nope, that’s a piranha. Okay, what is going on with Amador? He has 7 HRs in 46 games. Noice! He has 22 steals. Let those dazzle your eyes! He’s hitting .194. WHAT. I’m sorry, WUT. He hit .143 last year in Double-A. Ha! The Rockies ruined him before he even reached Bud Black? Damn. Okay, so clearly those are small sample sizes, and he supposedly has a great hit tool. I’m sure Bud Black can knock that out of him. He might only be up until Brendan Rodgers returns from the IL, but I could see grabbing him in leagues for steals, and the ulcer for when Bud Black randomly benches him for some random vet you didn’t know was on the Rockies. “Wow, Bud just wrote Brian Dozier into the lineup card and he’s been retired for four years.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Alec Burleson – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer, hitting .273. Just realized the Cards replaced Tyler O’Neill aka “You’re burly, son” with Burleson. The first good Cards outfielder trade!
Kyle Gibson – 6 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.76. Streamonator loved his Saturday start, and hates his next, and I agree.
Drew Thorpe – Will be called up to start vs. the M’s on Tuesday. Thorpe is .00000000000001% Navajo, but his command don’t be pretendian to be anything but elite. Itch put him in his top 50 prospects (Amador too) saying, “The 61st overall pick in 2022, Thorpe broke out in 2023, posting an elite 24.6 percent strikeout-minus-walk rate in 109 innings at High-A then a preposterous 35.5 percent (and 0.60 WHIP) in 30 innings at Double-A. Thorpe explained his development in a story on mlb.com, ‘They don’t chase much out of the zone, so you’ve got to pitch in the zone more,’ Thorpe said. ‘Going in, I was just seeing what I could get miss-wise inside the zone versus out of the zone. Trying to compete with myself a little bit more. Obviously they’re better hitters; they’re not going to chase as much as they normally would in High-A, and Itch is right Grey sucks.’” Oh c’mon! Thorpe said that? Due to his elite command, I’m willing to give Thorpe a chance in all leagues. The shallower the league, the more it’s about matchups.
Paul DeJong – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer, 2nd homer in two games, third homer in a week, and Colonel Mustard has been a hot schmotato for about a month now.
Tyler O’Neill – Out last few days, dealing with a knee injury that happened when he hurt himself, when hurt himself in another area of his body, which hurt his other part of the body, which is why he’s hurting.
Brayan Bello – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.78. This start was vs. the White Sox, a historically awful lineup. He was hit hard by Sheets/DeJong, i..e, Colonel Mustard dressed as a ghost and Bello shit his pants. My nickname for Brayan Bello is “Why didn’t I draft Kutter Crawford or Tanner Houck if I wanted a gee-dee Red Sox starter?” A long nickname, sure, but I think it really gets across some important information.
David Hamilton – 2-for-5, 2 runs and a slam (3) and legs (13). Hitting near-.320 over the last month, playing near-every day, and hitting in the 6-hole. Just the facts, Ham.
Logan O’Hoppe – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (8) and legs (1). His homer was a game-winner off Josh Hader (2/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.08), and, more appropriately, a homer off Trey Cabbage’s glove. Apparently, Cabbage has butter (lettuce) fingers. Interesting an ex-Angels player wins the game for Angels while on the Astros. I’d think something funny there, but nothing suspicious has ever happened involving the Astros.
Nico Hoerner – Out of the lineup the last few days, because he’s dealing with a fractured right hand. Oh, just that! As my 12-year-old nephew, Kyle texted me, “Smdh, Unk! How’s he supposedably gonna hit with that? No cap fr fr!” I hear ya, Kyle.
Shota Imanaga – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.96. May Shota’s regression be gentle and stretched over many starts vs. one 1/3 IP, 7 ER, unless it’s 1/3 IP, and 7 unearned.
Frankie Montas – 1 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.55. After Montas threw a 7-inning, one-hitter last time out, you said, “Looks like I’m in the Montas business!” After yesterday, you said, “I hope the rose garden breaks my fall.”
Ty France – Hit the IL with a heel issue. Not first time France was brought to heel.
Tyler Locklear – Called up to replace Ty France. That’s right, they went from Ty to Tyler. Next up, Tylest! Locklear has solid power, and doesn’t sell out for contact. He already looks like the best version of France. Call him Versailles.
Luis Castillo – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.35. It’s weird to think but the Royals are not a pushover. Also, weird that the Royals don’t play every year in the London Series.
J.P. Crawford – 2-for-5 and his 6th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmotato alert!
Andres Munoz – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.67. The good news is he returned. The bad news? Are you sure you want to know? Okay, keep reading and by Melendez’s blurb I’m sure you’ll know.
George Kirby – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.81 vs. Cole Ragans – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.08. This matchup was billed, “Ragans/Kirby, or what Ronald called Miss Piggy’s boyfriend.”
MJ Melendez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, 2nd homer in three games. Yesterday, he took deep Mike Baumann (1 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 3.24), who got the save chance for some unknown reason. If you watched me watching this live, you could see the moment when my heart broke into two losing Kirby’s win.
Kevin Gausman – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.00. [checking Jays’ schedule for next time they face the A’s, benching Gausman until then]
Mitch Spence – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.68. Put in FAAB bids for Spence, and, as I did, I already regretted it, even before winning him, and way before having him pitch for me.
Taijuan Walker – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 5.40 vs. Jose Quintana- 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 5.29. This was the Sunday London Series matchup. Heard in the stands, “The pitch is a ball sailing towards that bloke behind home plate and not the field where they’re playing. Now let’s grab a Guinness watered-down with urine to imitate a Budweiser, a banger that they call a hot dog, and play ball, my good man!” That was an American who made the trip to London to watch a terrible matchup, because I think the stands are 99% Americans and the one highlight was a Philly fan wearing a shirt that said, “The British blew a 13 colony lead.”
Ranger Suarez – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.81, which came on my bench because I wasn’t sure if he was pitching this weekend, due to his hand. Not the worst sonavabench, plus it gave me room to start Brayan Bello. Oh, wait.
Heliot Ramos – 0-for-4, hitting .314, out of leadoff, and hit his 6th homer on Saturday. Dan Pants just gave you his Heliot Ramos fantasy, and I’ve been yellioting about him for 10+ days.
Marcus Semien – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (11) and legs (2), hitting .261. What a good spurt!
Nathan Eovaldi – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.68. I know he’s boring, but he’s been usable going back to 2020.
Ryan Weathers – Hit the IL with an index finger. Adding insult to injury was when the doctor told him to point to what bothered him.
Jake Burger – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer. If he hit a home run for five different gentlemen…Oh my God, Burger’s working for Five Guys!
Tyler Freeman – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer, 2nd homer in the last five games, hitting .133 in the last week, and that is not supporting the schmotato.
Kyle Bradish – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.62. O’s are like, “Bradish is hurt, it’s bad, he might not be able to pitch, oh, geez, what do we do, is there an easy answer, there never is!” Then he throws a gem.
Grayson Rodriguez – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.27. As he carried a perfect game into the 5th inning, and had a pitch count approaching 100 pitches, I thought about how we may never see another perfect game again. Pitching is great, but no one throws more than 7 IP. There’s been 10 pitchers with complete games this year. As recently as 2014? There were 69!
Anthony Santander – 1-for-5 and his 14th homer, hitting .227. “Hello, Orioles’ front office? This is the Ghost of Earl Weaver. Uh, heaven’s great, thanks for asking. Anyway, trade Santander an arm. Lates.”
Adley Rutschman – 3-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 13th homer, a grand slam, hitting .306. Well, sure, it’s easy to hit home runs when your team is winning.
Taj Bradley – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.17. If it’s any consolation (it won’t be), Bradley’s peripherals say he should be way better. 11.2 K/9, 2.9 BB/9 should have him around a top 40 starter. Can you convince your leaguemates to credit your fantasy team with a bunch of complete game shutouts because Taj is supposed to be better? No? Okay.
Freddy Peralta – 3 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.95. This start was vs. the Tigers. Like the red sky in the morning warning for sailors, “Against great teams, FreddyKBB looks solid. When matchups seem great, FreddyKBB’s making you pallid.”
Jake Rogers – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, 3rd homer in his third game, but that dates back to last Monday, i.e., Hinch has more loyalty to Kelly than Brandon Walsh.
Teoscar Hernandez – 2-for-4 and his 16th homer, and 3rd homer in two games, and 4th homer in four games, and why do I think the Yanks are going to offer Teoscar a 6-year deal after this season, and have one of the worst 32 to 37-year-olds starting next year?
Tyler Glasnow – 6 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.24. Is it me or does it feel like no one strikes out anyone anymore? 12 Ks used to be run of the mill. It doesn’t feel that way anymore.
Trent Grisham – 1-for-2, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer, 2nd homer in four games. Cool stuff here, Yanks, but bring up Dominguez now.
Aaron Judge – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 24th homer, hitting .305. I should go back and pull some comments from y’all about Judge in April.
Matt Waldron – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.76. Is he the greatest pitcher in history and books are currently being written about him? No. Is he usable and available in a ton of leagues? Yes.
Fernando Tatis Jr. – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer. Fun The Jewels has been quietly valuable, near-top 20 overall on the Player Rater. About to call him Shh The Jewels.
Jurickson Profar – 2-for-4 and his 10th homer. I get the sense people who have Profar don’t appreciate him. Drop him, you don’t deserve him!
Jake McCarthy – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Might be wrong, but think this is the first positive contribution he’s made since 2022.
Jared Jones – 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 3Ks, ERA at 3.27. Jones gave up three quick runs in the 1st inning, and I was like, well, there’s no way Bailey Ober can mess this up. Narrator: He still messed it up (4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.13).
Byron Buxton – 0-for-5, 1 run, and his 3rd steal, hitting .223, and out of the 7-hole, as the Twins scored 11. Ticker tease! Buxton figured out how to stay healthy: By not being worth rostering in fantasy.
Jarred Kelenic – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer. If you would’ve told me Kelenic would have a .265 average in June and would be this yawnstipating, I wouldn’t have believed you, even with you batting those eyelashes of yours.
Charlie Morton – 5 IP, 4 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.12. Solid command is a step forward for what we’ve seen from Morton recently. Enough to give me confidence in his next start vs. the Rays like the Streamonator has? Not really.
Hurston Waldrep – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER, as he was called up. “Hurston Waldrep the Third, you get your little Vineyard Vines-wearing self over here! I see you spit out your caviar into your ascot and tried to hide it in the laundry, which was caught by our maid! I am so mad at you I could cancel your preordered Rivian! Wait until your father Hurston Chester Waldrep gets home from a long day at work as an industrialist.” Ooh, someone’s in trouble! On Sunday, Braves called up their top pitching prospect, Hurston Waldrep and here’s what Itch has said in the past, “With the name of a 19th century oil baron and the arsenal of a high-end big league pitcher, Hurston Waldrep represented a nice windfall for Atlanta with the 24th overall pick in this summer’s draft. His delivery borders on relievery, but a double-plus fastball/split-change combo helped him carve his way to Triple-A in half a minor league season. Atlanta has been rushing its young arms for a while as they try to supplement their world-beating offense, so Waldrep should be on the shortlist for an early promotion. Might even have a shot to make the team in spring training. He signed for a few hundred thousand under his draft slot value, and you know this team loves that, and I hate Grey.” Uh, not cool, man! So, besides Hurston Waldrep being the whitest name since Mayonnaise O’Honky, he looks more than ready, Sunday aside. Likely a streamer in shallower leagues and a grab and see in deeper. Assuming Hurston Waldrep doesn’t quit baseball to play tennis and eat white bread sandwiches.
