This is the weirdest 1st half of baseball in memory from a fantasy standpoint that’s not obviously weird. That’s how weird it is! There’s no offense, but also: There’s kinda no great pitchers. Sure, there’s guys like Seth Lugo (you knew I’d be writing that in March), but there’s no, like Pedros or Big Units or Little Units for that matter. Well, we’ll get to it. So, let’s get some exposition out of the way up front before we drop the top 100 for 2nd half of 2024 fantasy baseball. Not too much exposition because this is going to be a long post as it is–I’m making it longer, aren’t I? Ugh, my bad! Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2024 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up! But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest! So, as with all of the other 2024 fantasy baseball rankings, slop this up with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Shohei Ohtani number one, and he could strain his–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with the top players after we lost Acuña. As I say about the Giancarlo underwear I bought off eBay, why soil a good thing? This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while Matt Olson did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because, well, we have to believe in miracles — my 12-year-old self would want that, and to sleep with Cher. 12-year-old Grey loved Cher. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2024. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do. It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2024:
1. Shohei Ohtani – Maybe the greatest baseball player we’ve ever seen. Maybe. I said MAYBE. Is he? Bonds was pretty unreal. I never saw Mantle, Ruth, Mays or others. I thought Reggie Jackson was my father. Clearly not the best though. Sorry, daddy! Ohtani makes the case for best ever. He’s in the convo. I say this because you might be thinking to yourself, “Self, how is Ohtani ranked number one? There’s some good candidates for number one this 2nd half. Right, self? Self? Hello! Answer me!” Well, you’re arguing with yourself whether or not a guy can be number one who is one of the best ever. Only reason he was ranked lower in the preseason was the concern about his elbow. Bryce Harper is awesome, but he even needed a few months in-season to return from the same injury that wasn’t even a blip for Ohtani. If Bonds was unreal, Ohtani is not real. He’s number one. Projections: 51/20/45/.304/13 in 249 ABs
2. Aaron Judge – He’s on pace for 60 homers and not number one? Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with the top hitters. Hitters 50-150? Oh, there’s problems there! Reason why I went Ohtani then Judge is because if they both get 20 homers in the 2nd half, Ohtani is going to give way more speed. Projections: 45/22/50/.306/4 in 236 ABs
3. Bobby Witt Jr. – True story alert! I nearly put the next three guys as high as number two, but I always had Witt as number three. He’s the most number three guy ever. Behind door number three is Witt. He’s even number three on the Player Rater right now. Projections: 45/15/44/.312/20 in 256 ABs
4. Gunnar Henderson – Baseball player names are the best. Jhonkensy, Teoscar, Lars Nootbaar…All great names. Gunnar is lowkey one of the best. Not the first name you think of when you think bad-ass names, but I’d put it against any other name. A top-tier player and name. Projections: 47/19/41/.281/10 in 254 ABs
5. Jose Ramirez – What’s funny in a non-funny way: JoJoRam has earned a spot in the top five overall every year for about eight years, and around seven of those eight years we’ve found reasons to not include him in the top five. Projections: 44/17/51/.273/15 in 256 ABs
6. Juan Soto – Sexy Dr. Pepper is going to get $800 million this offseason from the Mets and become Dr. Sad Fizzled Pop for the next ten years. Let’s enjoy our last sip of Soto before the Mets Mets him. Projections: 44/18/42/.284/5 in 224 ABs
7. Kyle Tucker – Tucker might be the riskiest top 10 guy, due to injury, but also might be the least risky due to his performance every week of his career. Dude’s Mr. H2H, is there anyone less risky? Projections: 40/15/42/.273/13 in 221 ABs
8. Elly De La Cruz – After a brief concussion-like break from reality where I wasn’t Wild on E! this preseason, I’m fully in. I get it now. He can steal 75+ bags. That has value on its own. If it was just on its own. It’s not just on its own. It’s very much included with 30+ homer power. That’s kinda good! The strikeouts are a worry, but a guy can hit .190 with 30/75 and have value. Projections: 38/12/33/.233/24 in 244 ABs
9. CJ Abrams – Neither here nor there for mixed leagues, but the NL is hurting for top hitters, Ohtani, Elly, Corange Juice is it. Three of the top 10? Projections: 40/10/30/.279/19 in 249 ABs
10. Yordan Alvarez – Captain Woo Cubano has 50-homer power. Shoot, he has 60-homer power! He’s still yet to hit 40 homers in a season. Maybe this year! aby2bs7ka–Sorry, my fingers were crossed. Projections: 41/18/44/.293/2 in 235 ABs
11. Rafael Devers – The eye test between Yordan and Devers — if you’re just looking at them swing a bat — it says Yordan has more power. If you look at their stats, Devers is just as strong. Devers actually hit more homers in a season than Yordan. If you would’ve ranked or drafted Devers before Yordan this past March, you would’ve been laughed out of the room, but why? Why? Why? Sorry, I let Nancy Kerrigan write that last bit. Projections: 40/16/45/.287/3 in 247 ABs
12. Trea Turner – If I don’t start flying through some of these, this post will be 6,000 words, which is what I say as I make it longer. As long as Phils fans (phans?) applaud Treat Urner, he’ll be fine. Crap, if that’s the caveat, maybe I should drop him 100 spots. Projections: 45/10/38/.288/14 in 244 ABs
13. Bryce Harper – Will I get as much pushback for my Bryce ranking now as I did in the preseason? We shall see! Projections: 48/16/51/.292/6 in 217 ABs
14. Tarik Skubal – In past years I said some form of, “My 2nd half rankings depart from my 1st half rankings in one major way, I give more credence to top pitchers. A few reasons A) Pitchers get hurt and are risky, but, at this point in the season, we know which pitchers are healthy and pitching well. B) A top pitcher can make a huge difference still, whereas an upside flyer on a pitcher isn’t as valuable. I.e., if your ratios need help, a flyer on someone like David Peterson is only going to get you so far, whereas Skubal can make a difference in the final months. C) There’s no C.” As long as Skubal stays healthy, and betting on a pitcher to stay healthy is like betting on public perception recognizing Phil Collins as the greatest singer/songwriter of all-time, but here we are.” And that’s me quoting me! More in next blurb. Projections: 6-3/2.61/0.94/72 in 61 IP
15. Corbin Burnes – My top starters last year were Strider and McClanahanananananananananan. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Starters are not safe. Ever. My 2nd starter, Burnes, has sub-8.5 K/9. He’s clearly not right. And he’s my number two starter! Wheeler left his last start with a sore back! Who is safe? Skubal? Who’s never approached anywhere near this type of year before? Man, starters are a mess. Projections: 8-2/2.75/1.02/81 in 87 IP
16. Zack Wheeler – Any of these top three starters can be the best starter. They also all have bigger issues than I can remember for any top three starter group. Wheeler’s safe? Okay, homey. Burnes is safe with his Ks falling? Okay, homeboy. Skubal’s safe with never throwing anywhere near a full season before? Okay–well, you know who you are. You’re my homeboy! Let’s hug. Metaphorically! Release me! Projections: 7-2/2.77/1.01/79 in 75 IP
17. Freddie Freeman – It’s “Chopper, sic balls” only I see Freeman’s teeth and I hear, “Chompers, sic balls!” Projections: 41/11/42/.306/5 in 241 ABs
18. Francisco Lindor – If the Mets threw a birthday party in March for one of their players at a McDonald’s, they would’ve won 162 games this year. Projections: 41/13/36/.254/14 in 246 ABs
19. Corey Seager – If he’s healthy, he’s a top 20 hitter. Is he healthy? Seriously, I’m asking. Can someone google it for me? Projections: 38/15/41/.287/1 in 218 ABs
20. Jose Altuve – Do you have a fantasy category in your league for ability to ride a roller coaster without an adult? Because if you do, I’m lowering Altuve. Projections: 41/10/34/.306/12 in 246 ABs
21. Emmanuel Clase – Said some variation of this many times before, but at this point in the season, I am not above buying anyone I need. Buy a high-end closer in a trade now to help my team if I can make up points in saves? Bring on dem crooked save vultures! Does this mean BDon was right to trade me Aaron Judge for Robert Suarez and Josh Hader in our RCL? [stares straight ahead, finally blinks] Projections: 2-0/1.67/0.77/31, 15 saves in 33 IP
22. Ketel Marte – A storyline that no one talks about (because it’s likely either untrue or boring), Ketel only had power in previous seasons when the ball was juiced. Now the ball is dead, and Ketel still has power. What gives with no one talking about this very possibly untrue or boring story? Projections: 41/13/44/.281/5 in 244 ABs
23. Christian Yelich – Every year in the preseason Yelich and Bellinger are tied together in the rankings, and last year Cody pulled way ahead, and this year Cody’s out getting stoned with some guys he met at his winter job as a ski lift operator. Projections: 37/11/39/.280/6 in 248 ABs
24. Jarren Duran – This is the top 100 for the 2nd half, he said for the people who can’t read titles. This is not the top 100 for next year. With that said (hold on! Grey’s turning the ship around!), Duran’s ranking here seems like a glimpse at next year. Projections: 44/7/31/.272/17 in 247 ABs
25. Paul Skenes – This offseason I already plan on detoxing from my love for Skenes, because I feel like I want to make a terrible mistake and draft him way too high. Higher than I’ve ever drafted an SP. I love him so much. Which is why I need to detox by reciting every top starter who has disappointed in the last few years and every starter who came out of nowhere to be good for two months straight. Do nothing else. Just recite names. As for Skenes this year, I just gave you my Paul Skenes fantasy. In the last month, he’s only been the 11th best pitcher to defend myself for ranking him this low. Tobias Myers was better, which goes back to the main point of this post. In two months, Bailey Ober can be better than, say, Corbin Burnes. Projections: 3-1/2.33/1.03/72 in 52 IP
26. Teoscar Hernandez – ….and the Teoscar goes to…The person with Teoscar on their team. Hmm, I can’t believe I paid the accounting firm of Tellez, Bregman and Fried to tally those results. Projections: 33/15/37/.252/3 in 239 ABs
27. Pete Alonso – Albombso! Projections: 35/17/41/.239/2 in 244 ABs
28. Josh Naylor – This preseason sleeper of mine (and all mine!) has been so productive and yet — again with some stank — YET! he’s being unlucky on average. He should be better — Yaylor! Projections: 35/15/38/.266/3 in 231 ABs
29. Luis Robert Jr. – “Looking for a guy who could be a top 10 hitter or out for two months? Boy, do I have the guy for you!” That’s White Sux GM, Chris Getz, trying to Getz rid of Robert in a trade. Projections: 25/10/27/.261/10 in 188 ABs
30. Marcell Ozuna – The one Braves player you didn’t want in the preseason? Yup, that was the one you should’ve drafted. Fantasy Baseball: It will make you bald. Projections: 36/15/41/.263 in 249 ABs
31. Julio Rodriguez – This is a little subsection of players I call, “Heaven help me if I have to explain how these guys should be much better once again. Please strike me down like these guys strike out and put on my grave my printed-out fantasy team’s projected stats from the preseason so the players who are underperforming can feel bad.” Projections: 34/13/30/.263/16 in 247 ABs
32. Ozzie Albies – Comatose Fantasy Baseballer Who Just Woke, “How’s my team doing where I drafted the entire Braves’ lineup? Am I straight butter or what? Why’s everyone backpedaling out of my hospital room? Hello?” Projections: 36/10/34/.272/5 in 254 ABs
33. Matt Olson – “Seriously, how’s the team doing? I think I also grabbed Corbin Carroll in the 1st round! That coma was stinky, but getting sprayed with milk when I win my fantasy league is gonna be so sweet.” Projections: 31/15/37/.241 in 249 ABs
34. Austin Riley – “Though, I did avoid drafting Ozuna. The Braves’ lineup minus Ozuna, yep, that was my fantasy team. Is Acuña up to 40/40 yet? Hey, why are you removing sharp objects from my room?” Projections: 33/14/31/.262 in 238 ABs
35. Raisel Iglesias – Craig Kimbrel is actually the 2nd best closer in baseball, according to the Player Rater. A guy who could be replaced by the 5th best closer, Tanner Scott. Kyle Finnegan is the 6th best closer, and he’s in danger of being traded too. Any hoo! It was a bad year to think SAGNOF done and left the building. Clase held his job as a top closer, everyone else effed off a cliff — sorry there was a deal on double F’s and I never turn down a deal! Projections: 2-2/2.38/0.95/20, 14 saves in 25 IP
36. Chris Sale – Exact polar opposite of Skenes. Can I write next year’s schmohawk post for Sale now? Projections: 5-2/3.07/1.02/94 in 74 IP
37. Steven Kwan – I view Kwan kinda like how I see a closer or a steals merchant. If you need batting average, well, that shizz ain’t moving anymore, but, if you wanna try, you have to go for a guy like Kwan. Projections: 43/5/21/.334/8 in 255 ABs
38. Tanner Bibee – Going to draft Bibee everywhere next year. He’s basically 2023 Skubal. Next year Bibee will be(bee) a top three starter. Projections: 5-2/3.27/1.09/73 in 68 IP
39. Jack Flaherty – Okay, need to make this about this year and not next — though, Flaherty’s looking so good for 2025! — his stats are saying he’s basically better than Burnes, alliteratively speaking. Projections: 4-3/3.08/1.02/77 in 68 IP
40. Logan Gilbert – Ya know what’s kinda cool? There’s multiple ways to be valuable as a pitcher. There’s 11 K/9 guy with bad command and there’s a 8 K/9 guy with great command, and everything in-between. M’s have cornered the market on great command guys. Though, they’re being challenged in the market by the Twins. “Hello Sharks! I’m the Twins’ pitchers and I have great command–” Mr Wonderful, “Says here, Pablo Lopez, you’re supposed to be good, is that right?” [Pablo Lopez lowers his head, leaving Shark Tank without a deal] Projections: 5-3/2.81/0.96/71 in 74 IP
41. George Kirby – No one will ever compare to Greg Maddux, but, if one were to compare to Greg Maddux, well, I’m just saying look at Kirby’s stats and how reliable he is every year. Projections: 5-2/3.31/1.02/68 in 71 IP
42. Christian Walker – The most underrated slugger and his rank here? Still underrated! I’m underrating Walker while saying he’s underrated! Projections: 35/13/41/.253/1 in 248 ABs
43. Joe Ryan – I know we usually form odd-shaped prayer shapes for injuries, but can we do it for Joe Ryan not having a disastrous 2nd half like last year? Projections: 5-2/3.41/1.04/72 in 67 IP
44. Aaron Nola – Goes back to what I was saying in the Gilbert blurb. Nola seems to have figured out you don’t need to strike out guys to be successful. Or this is just another Saberhagenmetrics example of Nola being good in even years. Projections: 6-2/3.53/1.05/77 in 81 IP
45. Pablo Lopez – Looking for a pitcher who might be a top five starter in the 2nd half or droppable by August? Pab-no further! Projections: 5-4/3.66/1.12/74 in 68 IP
46. Seth Lugo – Someone compared Lugo to the pitching version of Profar and it could be, which sadly means Lugo will have a 5.75 ERA next year when he finally regresses. Projections: 4-4/3.12/1.08/57 in 64 IP
47. Ranger Suarez – He had a 155 1/3 IP season in 2022 with a 3.65 ERA. Clearly not as good as this year, but him and Lugo could be the new Logan Webb-type in baseball. 3.30 ERA, solid if unspectacular Ks and sneaky undervalued. It doesn’t have to be Ranger danger. Projections: 5-3/3.34/1.06/66 in 74 IP
48. Evan Phillips – He absolutely ate last year, as the kids say. Just nomnomnom’d the heck out of hitters. Put on the plate because Evan’s eating! Which is why it was a little surprising how he was being drafted six rounds after, say, Edwin Diaz who didn’t pitch last year. Hindsight, yadda-blabbity-bloob but still. Projections: 3-1/2.49/1.03/26, 14 saves in 23 IP
49. Freddy Peralta – In the 2nd half last year, FreddyKBB had the 10th best ERA with 2.81 in 73 2/3 IP. 11th best was Chris Bassitt. Saying two things there (clearly). 1) FreddyKBB can be great in the 2nd half. 2) Anyone can be great in only a half a season of baseball. Projections: 5-3/3.61/1.14/84 in 69 IP
50. Zac Gallen – It’s weird right now, and “weird” is pronounced like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, because there’s only top hitters, and no middle of the road hitters, and there’s only middle of the road starters and no top ones. Sure, there’s guys like Skubal, Wheeler and Burnes who are capable of an insane 2nd half, but Gallen or, say, Dylan Cease? You’re that confident in Gallen? Projections: 5-3/3.54/1.11/78 in 74 IP
51. Kyle Schwarber – The Schwarbomber was a big miss in the preseason when I called him a schmohawk. How was I supposed to know that someone would hypnotize him into thinking it was June for three months? Projections: 44/18/37/.229/2 in 230 ABs
52. Logan Webb – Know what’s weird that might only be weird to, like, .05% of the population? Webb is a sub 3.30 ERA pitcher every year without great Ks. He is never unlucky! With that kind of luck, he should be Ohtani’s “translator.” Projections: 6-2/3.24/1.09/71 in 84 IP
53. Sonny Gray – His stats blew me away — Gray blows Grey away. Dot dot dot. With stats! That and why dogs’ feet smell like Fritos after the break! Projections: 5-3/3.05/1.03/86 in 78 IP
54. Oneil Cruz – I know I have an Oneil Cruz-sized blindspot. I just love him. I’m sorry. Hate me for loving fun! Put on a fun badge and be the fun police because you hate fun and you’re arresting me for liking fun! Projections: 31/12/33/.240/7 in 249 ABs
55. Adley Rutschman – No one is drafting a player with these ranks. These ranks are for trades. These ranks are to say, I have Adley and I wonder what I can get for him. So, he’s more valuable than this, but who’s trading for a catcher? You are? Have you hit your head badly and need medical attention? I wouldn’t draft a top catcher and you’re trading for one? Why? Boredom? Continued in next blurb. Projections: 33/10/37/.276/1 in 226 ABs
56. Alec Bohm – Take their names away and who’s better, Adley or Bohm? Just look at their projections. Adley is that much better than Bohm? How? Why? What? Am I just asking the journalism questions? Yes, so where? Projections: 33/10/39/.272/2 in 246 ABs
57. Wyatt Langford – What sold me on Wyatt’s 2nd half value? Gunnar Henderson’s 2nd half value last year. Wyatt, do not make Gunnar look bad! Projections: 31/8/35/.278/10 in 241 ABs
58. Spencer Steer – As I write this, he’s in the top 45 overall on the Player Rater. This floored me since I’ve read comments about how disappointing he’s been. Did you expect a top 20 player when you drafted him around 100 overall? Projections: 32/11/36/.253/11 in 234 ABs
59. Justin Steele – You look at Steele’s last three years — yes, three! — and tell me why no one will draft him again next year. In Steele’s last 61 IP, 1.48 ERA. That’s basically two-thirds of a Glasnow season. Projections: 4-2/3.33/1.07/67 in 69 IP
60. Willy Adames – He’s a 20 to 31 homer, 4 to 15 steal, .217 to .278 hitter. In other words, a top five shortstop or a top-of-my-head-I-can-name-20-better-shortstops shortstop. Projections: 31/12/36/.237/6 in 243 ABs
61. Shota Imanaga – Legitimately don’t know what to expect from him in the 2nd half. As the innings start to pile up and the eyes on him start to compound his mistakes, what do we get? Vomit or fake vomit that has a $100 bill stuck to its bottom? Projections: 5-3/3.44/1.13/67 in 64 IP
62. Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – Ya know what feels like it’s happening? Cake Batter is being called overrated so much, I think he’s now underrated. He’s not doing that bad on the Player Rater for the year. Is he more Freddie Freeman without the steals than Christian Walker with a better average? Yes, I like that comp. Who made that comp? Me? Wow, nice brain, Grey! Please ignore that I initially spelled brain as Brian. Projections: 32/13/38/.282/3 in 251 ABs
63. Jazz Chisholm Jr. – The other day Marlins’ beat guy, Craig Mish said, “This is the first time there has been genuine interest in Chisholm as injuries, and his personality have kept other clubs wondering what they would be getting in return.” And I cackled. Basically, this is the 1st time other teams are willing to take the risk that he won’t become disinterested randomly in the middle of a game and hurt himself or just go 0-for-4. My big problem with Jazz is there’s no lyrics! Also, if he gets traded, say, to the Yanks, what if he gets platooned? I know, that sounds crazy, but things like that happen when a guy is traded. Projections: 29/10/27/.248/11 in 235 ABs
64. Jurickson Profar – This Friday I will have a Buy/Sell of players who are rostered in more than 50% of leagues. An All-Star Break Buy/Sell. Guess where Profar will be as he’s been every day for me for the last two months. He’s defying me! Projections: 33/7/36/.261/3 in 216 ABs
65. Manny Machado – Being frank with you — Hello, my name is Frank, and this is how I rank — I didn’t know where to rank Machado. He could be the player of the month for two months straight, or do the bleh he’s done so far this year. Projections: 31/12/34/.271/3 in 224 ABs
66. Mike Trout – I have no idea when he’s coming back. Guessing by August, but who knows. One thing I have been thinking about: Where does he get drafted next year? 120-ish overall? I can predict now what will happen because it’s happened three of the last four years. He’s going to come out hot, and hit 8-15 homers by end of May, then go down for three months with an injury. Projections: 24/12/28/.287/3 in 177 ABs
67. Robert Suarez – If you heard the podcast last week, I traded Suarez and Hader to BDon for Aaron Judge. Insert an emoji googling “Judge + injury” to see if it missed something. Projections: 2-1/2.46/0.94/27, 15 saves in 30 IP
68. Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – Lou-Gu-Ju is my guy, so ingest this with a grain of salt, but it’s lot easier to see how a guy like, say, Nico Hoerner can be great in the 2nd half — steal 17 bags and you’re a top 100 player easily — but a guy like Lou-Gu-Ju does everything vs. one thing, which makes his value harder to swallow in a half. Projections: 31/9/38/.275/3 in 229 ABs
69. James Wood – [watching James Woods performance in Nixon as H.R. Haldeman] “Oh my God, his name is H.R.! HR! Home Run! Don’t you see?!” I think Wood could be a top 30 hitter in the 2nd half, or droppable by September. If you think I’m crazy, can I introduce you to Wyatt Langford’s 1st half? Projections: 29/8/31/.262/12 in 227 ABs
70. Riley Greene – Not a bad preseason sleeper this one was… [blows on knuckles, wipes knuckles on shirt, see knuckles had ketchup on them] Damn it! Projections: 37/12/35/.264/5 in 233 ABs
71. Max Fried – If you throw out his first start of the year, he’s a negative 1.50 ERA pitcher. Don’t check my math. My math is good math. Projections: 6-2/3.12/1.12/68 in 76 IP
72. Lane Thomas – Last year I took some lumps for not ranking Thomas in my top 100 in the 2nd half. So, this year, I’m guessing there will be people mad I did rank him. Haha, can’t win! [looking at Thomas’s stats] He has how many steals in the 1st half?! People said he couldn’t steal 10 bags and he has how many? Is that a typo? Projections: 29/7/31/.256/14 in 249 ABs
73. Cole Ragans – There’s been a thawing of my hate over Ragans like I’m Cole Gorbachev. Projections: 4-3/3.35/1.14/76 in 67 IP
74. Hunter Greene – There’s no shortage of pitchers who could be great or confusingly not great. Projections: 4-4/3.48/1.15/74 in 63 IP
75. Ryan Helsley – I considered the possibility of him being traded and losing his value, and I thought for a long, pregnant pause and said, “Nah.” Projections: 2-1/2.68/1.14/35, 13 saves in 28 IP
76. Luis Rengifo – See what I said for Gurriel for why Rengifo is ranked in the top 100. Is Rengifo possibly a 4/7/.250 hitter for the half as some projections say? Sure. He’s also a possibly 5/20/.290 hitter. Will we get Rengifo or RenGTFO? Projections: 33/5/19/.293/17 in 223 ABs
77. Nico Hoerner – Cubs said they’d hear offers on Hoerner. We’ll see if any make them *pinkie to mouth* Hoerny. If Hoerner goes to the Yankees, he’s hitting leadoff in front of Judge and Soto. Yum! If he’s sent to the M’s, he’s hitting in front of [looking at the M’s lineup]…uh, Mitch Garver? Projections: 41/3/20/.261/15 in 258 ABs
78. Ceddanne Rafaela – He’s basically around this point on the Player Rater right now, so he just needs to repeat his 1st half. Goes back to what I say, if a guy gets speed and power, he can make fantasy value out of nothing. Even hitting 9th. Projections: 29/8/32/.252/10 in 228 ABs
79. Bryan Reynolds – Have had problems with Reynolds and Correa in the past, and it’s only fitting they’re next to each other here since they’re both still despised by me but I’ve come to terms with their value for this year. Projections: 31/10/36/.272/2 in 241 ABs
80. Carlos Correa – See my scathing indictment in the Reynolds blurb. Scathing, I tell ya! Withering, if you will! C’mon, thesaurus, give me one more! Savage, you might say! Projections: 37/10/34/.283 in 223 ABs
81. Brice Turang – From here with Turang to the below Burleson, these guys I wanted to squeeze into the top 100, but also wanted to point out how fickle these ranks were. In the preseason, there’s no games. Rankings stay the same all preseason unless there’s an injury. Now? I like Turang, wanted him in these ranks, but if he has two bad weeks and Stott gets hott? I’ll take Stott, and Stott is nott in these ranks. These 2nd half ranks are very malleable. Projections: 31/3/19/.277/16 in 231 ABs
82. Brenton Doyle – Absolutely cannot wait to draft Doyle way too high next year, after he takes a full offseason of seminars with Nolan Jones on how to suck. It’s gonna rock! Projections: 27/7/25/.267/13 in 231 ABs
83. Jordan Westburg – Was a preseason sleeper of mine and now we can all rejoice in drafting him! Oh, you didn’t? Shame! Shame! Shame! Projections: 30/9/32/.276/5 in 224 ABs
84. Brent Rooker – The A’ss suck ass. This is undeniable. Rooker’s peripherals? He looks like a future star. Unfortch, it took him seven years to find a job, so he’s gonna be 30 in November and prolly a future nothing. Projections: 23/13/32/.254/2 in 212 ABs
85. Alec Burleson – I’m obscenely into Alec B. Actually, from Turang to here is the future star section of the ranks. There, I said it! Projections: 32/9/28/.271/5 in 230 ABs
86. Garrett Crochet – Legit have no idea how many IP he can throw the rest of the year. 60-ish? 75-ish? 45-ish? If I had a sense of that, I would’ve ranked him higher. What team is he going to be throwing those innings on too? That might help with his projections. Speaking of: Projections: 3-3/3.29/1.04/76 in 57 IP
87. Dylan Cease – What I’ve said a few times in this post — when you’re pushing 7,000 words, what’s a few repeated thoughts amongst friends? — but Cease’s stats are better than Burnes. He can be the best starter in baseball for two months. Or droppable by September. Projections: 4-2/3.70/1.07/83 in 68 IP
88. Marcus Semien – Some of these 1st half suckers will be back again next year to being stars. I think Semien being a sucker is way more than a Hawk Tuah away from being good again. Semien looks spent. Projections: 38/10/29/.244/5 in 261 ABs
89. Adolis Garcia – The problem with Semien and Adolis is very similar in an uncanny way. They both are hitting a shizzload of cans of corn. My consolation with being the high man on Adolis was we had a few good years where everyone was expecting the inevitable crash. So, they’re right this year, I was right for three years; I can live with that. Projections: 27/12/31/.205/5 in 248 ABs
90. Mookie Betts – Mookie Around-90th Best! Hmm, doesn’t have the same ring. He’s due back around mid-August, a timetable he’ll beat because he wants to come back for my fantasy team. Aw, thanks, Mookie, said like Rosie Perez. Projections: 26/5/20/.312/10 in 141 ABs
91. Seiya Suzuki – Our “what will players do in the future Player Rater” aka the Rest of the Season Player Rater loves Seiya. I would’ve Seiya’d him off this list if not for that, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. Projections: 27/10/30/.268/3 in 209 ABs
92. Ha-Seong Kim – Hated Kim more than Eminem in the preseason and now I’m learning to co-parent Hailie Jade. By the by, Hailie Jade is 28 years old! Hahaha, we are so old! Projections: 25/5/28/.243/14 in 214 ABs
93. Will Smith – Catchers are so wickety-wickety-whack Smith’s one big three-homer game moved him within sneezing distance of the top catchers. Oh, wait, wickety-wickety-whack was Kriss Kross not Will Smith. Ugh, and I have my clothes on backwards for no reason. Can someone unbutton this jersey for me? Little help here! Projections: 30/10/35/.267 in 197 ABs
94. Luis Castillo – His velocity is way down, and I wonder if we’re not missing something with him. In keeping with this end of the top 100, these guys are not necessarily my favorites, but I ranked them because maybe you can get something for them in a trade. Projections: 3-3/3.66/1.14/68 in 67 IP
95. Max Scherzer – Super small sample size — that’s what she said derisively when I was at my most vulnerable! — but Scherzer’s peripherals are hilariously awful. One start with 10 Ks in six innings could change those numbers so won’t rely too much on them, but also it seems he officially got old. Could Reynaldo Lopez, who is unranked here, be better? Yes. Tanner Houck? Absolutely. Michael King? Yes, I’m not going to name every starter who could be better. It’s the problem with doing a top 100 vs. top 500 in the middle of the season. It’s basically like 90th overall, then 90a, 90b, 90there’snoC, etc. Next start Scherzer could go 6 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, and Aaron Nola goes 4 IP, 5 ER, and you’re wondering why Scherzer isn’t ranked higher. Projections: 3-2/3.78/1.15/47 in 54 IP
96. Gerrit Cole – Wanna talk about stinky stats? Look at Cole’s and then hold your nose for two hours. “Why do you sound nasally?” “Just looking at Gerrit Cole’s stats.” That’s you on the phone with a very caring telemarketer. Projections: 5-2/3.81/1.18/66 in 61 IP
97. Luis Arraez – He might be our first AGNOF player. Does literally nothing but average. That is difficult to do. Let’s give it up for the most averagest of the average players! Projections: 28/3/19/.327/3 in 251 ABs
98. Tyler Glasnow – Was just looking at his career high in innings — 11 more innings from where he’s at! — as he hit the IL. I’d guess he returns mid-August, but he might also have a fake setback until mid-September as the Dodgers save what little innings he has left for the playoffs. Projections: 3-2/3.03/1.03/54 in 47 IP
99. Michael Harris II – Thinking about the person who is too smart for their own good and trading for all Braves hitters who underperformed in the 1st half. Don’t be too smart for your own good. Be just smart enough. The Goldilocks of smart. Projections: 26/8/27/.280/8 in 186 ABs
100. Christopher Morel – I have a soft spot for Morel’s value like I’m Papa Smurf. Projections: 26/12/33/.212/6 in 211 ABs
101. Rece Hinds – So, I originally had Jose Miranda here, but he hit the IL at the end of the 1st half and I removed him. That’s okay, that gives us a chance to talk about the Player Baseball Was Invented For, Rece Hinds aka The Greatest Player Who Has Ever Played. So, Rece Hinds is and is not ranked here — Boo! Not Pieceofchette though either. Rece Hinds is here to say take flyers on upside. Will it be more likely that Bryson Stott is worth a top 100 player in the 2nd half? Yeah, Stott’s more of a top 90 player, but what fun is that? It’s not fun! Rece Hinds is fun! Upside! Projections: 22/10/27/.254/7 in 223 ABs
102. Yoshinobu Yamamoto – Last year I ranked Oneil Cruz in the top 100 for the 2nd half saying that he might not be back until August, but, when he returns, he could be a top 100 player. He never returned. Why do I say that now? Hmm… Any hoo! Most of the starters in this post are getting 12 starts projected for them. Yamamoto might not get eight. But eight is enough! [Willie Aames crashes through my wall like the Kool Aid Man] What the heck, man? You can’t use a door? No, I didn’t order a crash-thru-the-wall Cameo. Projections: Dream/you/em/effers in Dreams
103. Whoever Helps You Win – Don’t get tied to projections and rankings and “I drafted this guy in the 4th round this year.” Yeah, we all hate Corbin Carroll, not just you. The worst thing you can do at this stage is hold onto players just because of what they could do vs. what they are doing. What they are doing is what wins championships and that’s what excites the ladies in your daydreams and your daydreams are real to you.
